7 Steps to Crafting the Perfect Adoption Reference Letter
Adoption reference letters are an essential resource for social workers, because they can convey prospective parent’s personality and character traits in a way other documents can’t.
Through this guide you can learn about the reference letter process. Keep reading to the end for an adoption reference letter sample.
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What is an Adoption Reference Letter?
An adoption reference letter is a letter from someone who knows you well expressing their belief that you’ll provide a child with a loving, enriching, and safe home.
They should be sent directly to the social worker conducting your home study; you should not handle the letter at any point. The letter should convey the writer’s opinion of the adoptive family, usually a very positive opinion.
A home study is required for all adoptions. During a home study, a social worker will visit your home, interview you about why you want to adopt, and review documents related to your life. These reference letters will be collected during the document review of your home study.
What to Include in an Adoption Reference Letter
One of the common questions your references will ask you is what they should write in an adoption reference letter. Here’s a short guide to help your references get their letters started:
Step 1: Relationship
It’s a good idea to start off your reference letter for adoptive parents with a brief description of how you know them, including any milestones in your relationship. Example:
“I met Alex in college, and Drew a few years after when they started dating. Two years ago, Alex was in my wedding.”
Step 2: Character Traits
Include notable positive qualities about the adoptive parents you think might help the social workers understand them better. Example:
“Alex is so kind and is an excellent advocate for friends and family. Drew is responsible, and responds well under pressure. I have no doubt these qualities will serve them well as parents.”
Step 3: Other Relationships / Family Dynamic
Include a bit about how the adoptive parents relate to each other, or if adopting as an individual, how they relate to the other important people in their life. Example:
“The love and mutual respect between Alex and Drew is the foundation of their relationship. They set an example of what a supportive relationship looks like for the friends and family around them.”
Step 4: Values / Morals
Talk about the prospective parent’s value system. If religion is an important part of their life, how would that affect a child placed with them? If not, discuss the morals you believe would serve them well in parenthood. Example:
“Alex and Drew are known to volunteer in our community, and are guided by a desire to improve the world around them.”
Step 5: Child Interactions
If you’ve observed the adoptive parents interacting with children, be sure to mention it! Example:
“As a public school teacher, Drew has demonstrated patience, understanding, empathy and great skill in helping children through difficult times.”
Step 6: Clear Endorsement
Be sure to clearly state your opinion of the adoptive parents. Example:
“I can wholeheartedly recommend Alex and Drew as adoptive parents. I’ve known them for 8 years, and I can’t think of a couple more fit for parenthood. Any child would be blessed to grow up with parents as attentive, loving, and empowering as these two as these two will undoubtedly be.”
Step 7: Formatting
Make sure to follow proper grammar, punctuation and formatting. Address the letter formally, and sign it with a handwritten signature. Be sure to include the correct agency information. Example:
“[Date]
[Agency Information – Address, phone number]
[To whom it may concern, or the name of the specific caseworker, with formal title]
…
Sincerely,
[Reference Name Signed and Printed]”
An Adoption Reference Letter Sample
Let’s build on those examples and create a more realistic model of what an adoption recommendation letter may look like. We’ll do this by combining all the samples above, and adding extra personality and context.
[Date]
[Agency Address]
[Agency Phone Number]
To whom it may concern,
I’d like to give my complete, unconditional endorsement to Alex and Drew’s adoption. Everything I know about them makes me absolutely sure they will be fantastic parents.
I met Alex in collage, and Drew a few years after when they started dating. The three of us have maintained a close friendship in the years between; Two years ago, I was honored to have Alex in my wedding. We meet up regularly every few weeks, and I can attest to the long-standing desire and deep thought that’s gone into their decision to adopt.
Alex is so kind and is an excellent advocate for friends and family. Drew is responsible, dedicated, and responds well under pressure. They’ve helped me through several difficult times, and have always been there for me when I needed them. Together the two make a great team; I have no doubt these qualities will serve them well as parents.
The love and mutual respect between Alex and Drew is the foundation of their relationship. They set an example of what a supportive relationship looks like for the friends and family around them. For a child to grow up around such a positive model of what a strong relationship looks like could only serve them well later in life. In the meantime, that child will have all the benefits of growing up in a happy, stable household.
Alex and Drew are known to volunteer in our community, and are guided by a desire to improve the world around them. As a public school teacher, Drew has demonstrated patience, understanding, empathy and great skill in helping children through difficult times.
I wholeheartedly recommend Alex and Drew as adoptive parents. I can’t think of a couple more fit for parenthood. Any child would be blessed to grow up with parents as attentive, loving, and empowering as these two will undoubtedly be.
Sincerely,
[Name Signed]
[Name Printed]
You should now have a complete outline for your reference letter.
Do You Need References to Adopt?
Yes, you always need at least five reference letters for adoption. As a prospective parent, you’ll agree that keeping children safe should be the first priority of the adoption system. Checking references is an important step in making sure adoptive children can find stable, supportive homes.
Your references are also a fantastic way to demonstrate your reliability, trustworthiness and rich community ties in a way that documents like a driver’s license could never convey.
Who to Choose as an Adoption Reference?
An adoption reference letter is a great way for close friends to contribute to your adoption journey. Anyone who knows you or your family well can be asked for an adoption reference. Keep in mind only one of your five character refrences can be related to you. If you’re adopting as a couple, you won’t need individual references; one reference can write about both of you.
You could ask close friends, a member of a faith community, volunteer organization or hobby group, neighbors, co-workers, supervisors or friends who have their own children to write a letter of recommendation for adoption. You’ll want to ask reliable people, who will complete the reference in a reasonable timeframe.
We are happy to provide open access resources to families seeking adoption, as well as 24/7 live support for families working with us. For more support from our expert, experienced staff, register for your home study information today.
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